Tag Archives: belonging

A Morning Hike in Driving Rain

This photograph is what it looked like on the trail at sunrise the day prior. Beautiful. Green. 58 degrees. An occasional deer bounding through the woods. Clear skies. I will say that last one again: Clear skies.

I had a solid plan and a backup plan for beginning my summer staff retreat the following day. Plan A was a morning hike together on this friendly trail that was less than two miles long and with no elevation. I had assigned hiking partners determined and even a topic of conversation (your childhood), all as a lead-in to a larger conversation that I intended to convene afterward on how we can better cultivate a sense of belonging among the college students we serve. It was a good plan I believed. The weather promised to be a little hot and sticky since the hike would be a few hours after sunrise, so I even had the foresight to recommend an extra pair of shoes, possibly a towel and some deodorant, maybe a change of clothes if desired. And on the off chance that a rain shower would cancel the hike entirely I had a fun game prepared as Plan B. I thought I had thought of everything.

After I brushed my teeth the next morning and walked out of the bathroom, my wife mentioned, “We just had a rain shower.” That was unexpected. I looked outside, and in the short time I was in the bathroom a pretty good shower had fallen that left the earth nice and wet. I checked Apple Weather on my iPhone again, and there didn’t initially appear to be (any more) rain in the forecast that morning, but when I looked more closely it did say there was a 20% chance of rain during the middle of our scheduled hike. I’m pretty good at math and figured that meant there was an 80% chance of it not raining, so I simply decided to keep an eye on it and continued the work of preparing for the day ahead.

My staff arrived on time in their chosen hiking outfits, and after I had assigned partners and explained the conversation topic, we headed out toward the trail. I noticed a bit of a troubled sky as we started our walk, but nothing serious, so off to the woods we went. My walking partner was Katelynn, and we led the way and began a nice conversation of our respective childhoods, learning more about each other as intended. Occasionally I peeked over my shoulder and noticed that my wonderful colleagues were paired up and deep in conversation, too. At some point it occurred to me that it was not as hot and sticky as I feared, which was a pleasant surprise — I wasn’t even sweating! Maybe I wouldn’t even have to change clothes after the hike!

And then, about two-thirds of the way through the trail, Katelynn and I felt the first rain drop. And then the second. And then the third-fourth-fifth. And then a steady rain shower began pelting us all. I looked over my shoulder again, and my wonderful colleagues were still walking along, sharing with one another, getting wet. I thought, maybe it will be another brief shower? Instead, it started raining harder. It occurred to me that umbrellas might have been a nice suggestion, too. Because I am bald, the rain had no effect on the appearance of my hair, but because I forgot the hat that I meant to wear, it also meant that the rain was pouring down my face with nothing to stop it. I looked back over my shoulder once more, and my kind colleagues were sopping wet but still in conversation, although now I wondered if it concerned what moron had the idea of taking everyone on a hike today.

There was no place to take shelter, so we just kept walking. My staff is incredibly patient and resilient (student affairs folks are quite adaptable by the very nature of our work). We never broke out in a run (what would it have mattered since we were completely soaked anyway?), and we eventually made it to the end completely drenched. Not everyone brought a change of clothes, but I found a bunch of towels and offered a bunch of bathrooms, and before long everyone was ready for the larger conversation that I intended on how to cultivate belonging. Somehow we still had a great conversation, which included someone graciously pointing out that we would remember the hike much better and much longer because of the crazy rain!

A few days later, after repeatedly thinking about the fact that I am an idiot who obviously lacks the capacity to think of everything, another more helpful thought came to mind: Even solid plans can be unreliable when you get outside of your normal way of doing things to try something that you believe is worth doing. The trick, it seems, is not to feel like a failure when you go for it and things go wrong, or not be willing to try it ever again, or let the fear of the unknown keep you from trying things in the first place.

The particular time that we live in has unique dangers and risks. We spend far too much time on screens and need to put them away and get outside much more often. We are accustomed to constant stimulation and need to rediscover the important practice of boredom. We join groups and causes and people in general far less than previous generations — particularly groups and causes and people that are not in our comfort zone — and we desperately need to reverse that trend. We live in a time when civil and human rights are under a particular kind of attack, and we need to put ourselves on the line and stand up for those in need of justice.

Every single one of those things will not be easy to do. And none of them will be comfortable. In fact, resisting the cultural forces all around us to try something out of the proverbial box will require significant risk-taking, and I would estimate that it is at least 20% likely to rain on our parade when we do. But after a good recent soaking, I say that we do it anyway. We’ll dry off, eventually, and I think we will look back and decide that it was worth the trouble.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, but Wisconsin Is Actually Purple

Purple haze all in my brain / Lately, things just don’t seem the same / Actin’ funny but I don’t know why / Scuse me while I kiss the sky.” – Jimi Hendrix

I stopped using social media to discuss politics a long time ago, mostly because I just didn’t love the desire to claw out my eyeballs. The following represents only a minor shift in personal policy, I hope.

My new hometown is the birthplace of the Republican Party. Alvan Bovay, a lawyer and mathematician from New York City, moved to Ripon, Wisconsin, in 1850, one year after the city was founded, and in 1854, frustrated by the potential spread of slavery in the proposed Kansas-Nebraska Act, called a meeting at the First Congregational Church and proposed forming a new political party to oppose slavery if the bill passed. Well, the bill passed, and Bovay hosted a follow-up meeting at what is now known as the Little White Schoolhouse, a meeting that led to the establishment of the Republican Party. Six years later, the United States elected its first Republican president, Abraham Lincoln, and all hell broke loose soon thereafter.

As you might suspect, when I pass by the Little White Schoolhouse in my new hometown, I often see travelers there taking pictures from their respective pilgrimages. Ironically, I think supporters of both major political parties should take pilgrimages here, albeit for different reasons: Republicans, for obvious reasons, being the birthplace of their party, but Democrats, on the other hand, for historic reasons, too, i.e., to honor an early political movement that stood up for basic civil rights for Black citizens and then held the nation together during the bloodbath that ensued when Southern states seceded to preserve white supremacy. There’s much there for both to celebrate if they so choose.

In a way, I guess my new hometown serves as a nice microcosm of life in a purple state, having something that both Democrats and Republicans can honor.

With the 2024 presidential election on its final approach, Wisconsin, my new home state, is receiving a lot of attention as a “battleground” state. (My new academic department chair was quoted in Newsweek just last week.) Wisconsin is one of only five states (along with Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, and Pennsylvania) that voted for Trump in 2016 and Biden in 2020, displaying the capacity to vote for a presidential candidate from different parties. In addition, officially, and this may change following the next election, Wisconsin is one of only three states (along with Montana and Ohio) that has one United States Senator from the Democratic Party and one United States Senator from the Republican Party—down dramatically from twenty-seven split delegations in 1980.[1] Wisconsin is apparently the prototype of a “purple” state, a mixture of red and blue—even though when it comes to colors, this football-crazed state prefers the green and the gold to that associated with one of its historic rivals, the Minnesota Vikings.

I happen to like purple—when it comes to politics.

I’m actually quite blue, to be sure, when it comes to the political team I typically root for, and I have strong feelings along those lines about this particular presidential election, but as one who cares deeply about words like diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging, and very much dislikes words like echo chamber, groupthink, and homogeneity, I am fond of what are now extraordinary places where people from different perspectives live in community and everyone has the chance to speak up and be heard. So, I like living in a place that is currently known as a purple state.

However, refusing to put my head in the sand, I’m well aware that these rarities are headed toward extinction, and I’m not sure that will change anytime soon.

I sort of like the idea of a purple party. (This is where my wife, a major Prince fan, perks up, and I confess that going back to (political) parties like its 1999 seems surprisingly nice given today’s crazy town carnival, but that’s not where I’m headed with this little essay.)

I sort of like the idea of a purple party, but I’m not going to call a meeting at the Little White Schoolhouse and try to start one, mostly because I only sort of like the idea and think it would turn out poorly. The idea of a purple party would probably end up as a gathering of all the moderates, those tired of the extremists on both sides—almost a call back to the political establishment once upon a time. Make America Moderate Again, if you will. I can see the purple MAMA hats already.

But actually, sometimes, I like extremes. Like, a lot. For example, all things considered, pretty much any landmark movement for human rights was a radical movement once upon a time, and I want to be on those teams.  

No, instead of a party for “those in the middle,” though an understandable wish for many, what I wish for instead is not even a party, just a place in this world where people from very different backgrounds with very different characteristics and very different perspectives can be in the same place and learn from each other and refuse to hate each other (which is where the train consistently derails) and choose to respect each other as human beings. Places where Justice Ginsburg and Justice Scalia go to the opera together, and where George W. Bush and Michelle Obama exchange hugs and cough drops, and where friendships develop like Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart; Ella Fitzgerald and Marilyn Monroe; Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson; Harry and Sally; Bert and Ernie; Woody and Buzz.

Wishful thinking, I know, this notion of radical respect and radical friendship across dividing social lines. Who could really imagine that happening anywhere? But if anyone ever calls a meeting at a little schoolhouse somewhere with that in mind, please pass along the invitation.


[1] Sure, Maine and West Virginia also have split delegations, but theirs are Independent and Republican, not Democrat and Republican. And don’t even try with Vermont: nothing split about that delegation!