Tag Archives: realist

Well… (Or, Facing Reality)

I fancy myself an early riser and enjoy getting to the office before the campus comes to life, but I often encounter a wonderful member of our custodial staff who has been at work long before my arrival. Recently, we struck up a conversation about the bitterly cold temperatures in the forecast for today, and as our conversation concluded, my colleague said with a smile and as a matter of fact, “Well, we are in Wisconsin.”

I love it. I’m going to use that phrase a lot.

Later, it occurred to me that the sentiment that undergirds that statement reflects a deeply held value of mine regarding life in general.

I am a Christian, but being raised in a specific Christian tradition that encouraged me to think deeply and arrive at my own conclusions, my personal journey has led me to become a different kind of Christian than expected, possibly different than you picture when you hear the term, and probably much to the dismay of several teachers along the way. But I have found great sustenance in the writings of unique thinkers from days gone by, and one of those is William Stringfellow (1928-1985). Near the end of his 1966 book, Dissenter in a Great Society, the lawyer and lay theologian wrote:

“[T]he Christian knows . . . that this world is a fallen world, not an evil world but the place in which death is militant and aggressive and at work in all things. . . . Of all people, Christians are the most blunt and relentless realists. They are free to face the world as it is without flinching, without shock, without fear, without surprise, without embarrassment, without sentimentality, without guile or disguise. They are free to live in the world as it is.” (page 161, updated with gender neutral terms)

Now that has not been my natural experience as a Christian or with Christians, so I apologize for cutting to the chase with that reading because there is much to be understood from Stringfellow prior to such a conclusory passage, but trust me when I say that once I got the full impact of Stringfellow’s theological framework, that passage made a deep impression on me. One way to put it is that it led to a desire to say to myself when life seems unhinged, “Well, we are on Planet Earth.”

I sincerely aspire not to be shocked by what happens in this world, and although a work in progress, I do make progress. And while the limits are often tested, I am less and less surprised by elections, politicians, business tycoons, crimes, illnesses, and disasters. I still feel the deep disappointment, pain, and sadness that acts of injustice produce, but importantly, I am less likely to despair and less likely to live in fear.

As Stringfellow put it, I strive to accept the world we live in for what it is. That’s accept, not approve; in fact, as Stringfellow writes later, I am in perpetual protest. But as a “blunt and relentless realist” who is less likely to be debilitated by current events, I can protest with a steady resolve and with inexplicable hope.

It is bitterly cold outside today in my new home state, but saying “Well, we are in Wisconsin” reminds me that cold weather is to be expected and allows me to bundle up and face the hard reality.

That general idea gets me through life, too.

Life Expectancy

An online life expectancy calculator concluded that my check-out time is age ninety-two, but I don’t believe it for a second.  For one thing, that would mean enduring eleven more presidential campaigns, which is unimaginable, but more importantly, the calculation did not include that both of my parents died in their early seventies, that I seek out stressful jobs, and that my childhood diet consisted of fried baloney sandwiches, nacho cheese Doritos, Little Debbie snack cakes, and Dr. Pepper.  But hey, I’ll shoot for ninety-two and see what I get.

One thing in my favor is that I am not easily angered, and word on the street is that this is good for longevity.  Other than the peaceful people on the maternal side of my family tree, I have no idea why it is difficult to get under my skin.  But I’m happy it is true.  (Of course I am, or at least I’m not upset about it!)

Frederick Buechner once wrote:

Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun.

To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king.

The chief drawback is what you are wolfing down is yourself.

The skeleton at the feast is you.

Anger simply isn’t worth it.  This is easier said than done, although I have a suggestion that seems a bit counter-intuitive to a happy life at first: lower your expectations.  I don’t mean lower your drive or goals or dreams, the fuel that makes life worth actually crawling out of bed in the morning, but I do mean living in reality enough to know that things rarely go as planned, and that that is okay.

Anger happens when life lets you down.  Expect that life will let you down.  Of all things, don’t let that come as a surprise.

For instance, I was told that I should live to age ninety-two.  I’m not counting on it.  (Cue Tim McGraw as I choose to live like I am dying!)